What can you expect? Straight talk, laughable humor, real truth, simple living, and passionate yearning...
all regarding the God that still involves Himself in the details of the lives of His people
A calling to write what He leads, no matter how uncomfortable...
Because simple daily Christian living is never what we thought it would be
Now some of you will say that I am clingy and just hanging on. But truly it is so much more than that. It is not that I need them...to feel complete. It is not that I do not have the training or opportunity to be a professional woman again. It is simply that I love it. It is that I take motherhood very seriously and know that it is something I very much want to be successful at. And, I believe that this success really started with something I heard myself say years ago when I was an inner city public high school teacher. I said, “God didn’t call me to be your friend, He called me to teach. And, I am honestly more afraid of answering to Him than I am afraid of you.”
What are You Serving-Up for Thanksgiving?
What are You Serving-Up for Thanksgiving?
Two more until the kids are home for Thanksgiving. I can’t wait. I remember bringing each one of them home for the first time after they were born. We used to stand in the doorway of their rooms and watch them sleep. We would dream of their futures and plan aloud the way we would parent. I loved the soft powdery scent of their nursery and the full aroma of the events in life yet to come.
Now we are half way there. You can consider that I am speaking of age since we are fifty. Or, you can consider this statement true since half of our children are, well almost, finished with high school. But, we sort of look at this statement in a way that says our youngest child is half way done with living at home. Only two and a-half are gone…to college and beyond. But oh, how I miss them all living under the same roof with us. I know I will absolutely dread it when they have all moved out.
Now some of you will say that I am clingy and just hanging on. But truly it is so much more than that. It is not that I need them...to feel complete. It is not that I do not have the training or opportunity to be a professional woman again. It is simply that I love it. It is that I take motherhood very seriously and know that it is something I very much want to be successful at. And, I believe that this success really started with something I heard myself say years ago when I was an inner city public high school teacher. I said, “God didn’t call me to be your friend, He called me to teach. And, I am honestly more afraid of answering to Him than I am afraid of you.”
Those words ingrained themselves in my mind and have helped me make a thousand decisions. And even though the structure of the sentence has changed a little from teaching to mothering, the root of the meaning is still very much the same. I greatly respect the Lord and do not want to disappoint Him with the task He has given me. I very much know that parenting is difficult and is to be treated as a privilege of great responsibility. And, I know, that even though compassion and companionship are very important parenting traits, He never intended for me to be my children’s BFF.
Later than we should have, my husband and I seriously joined forces to formulate a written family code and priority statement. Now this may seem very strange to you, but we can’t imagine living without it.
Simply…
We believe
That God created us from the dirt He created,
That He made each of us special for a reason and expects us to discover that reason in Him and live it out,
That total and unconditional forgiveness is a must in all things and to all people,
That God chose family members purposefully and we must honor that,
That it is our job to leave everything better than we found it…including other people’s lives
And that, we must do all these things with a good attitude: an attitude of joy and thanksgiving.
Our priority list is
God first
Family second
the greater Church
Education (academics before activities, and performances before practices)
and then, community
It is simple enough to state…much more difficult to live. Not because we are not committed, but because so many issues in life have more than one variable per category. But it is this living that matters. No family list, in no way…matters, even in the least, if it is not reflected in the living of the ones making the statement.
Every Saturday after brunch we fold socks as a family. I see you laughing and I’m okay with it. Somehow that started when they were very young and has gone on for years. I do laundry all week and collect the socks in a basket in the laundry room. On Saturday everyone in attendance sits in the living room and I sort through the huge pile by throwing their socks to them. It’s not bowling or baseball or anything, but we usually have some fun with it. Last week I was making a big deal out of a couple of members of the family who can’t seem to get their socks turned right side out before washing. “Why?”, “Why does it matter?”…came the voice of one of the offenders. Strangely enough, my youngest child answered up by saying, “Because in this family, we don’t make other people’s lives harder.” And then it was very, very silent.
That night when I stood outside of her bedroom door watching her take in and let out deep breaths of sleep…I was proud. What she had responded that day, made me feel that I had proof for myself, of all the efforts we had made as parents. Even the youngest child had been taught and in some way had comprehended one of the family’s higher objectives. No…all members of the family do not always live the way, or make the choices we as parents would hope for. In fact, we ourselves as parents definitely fall short many times each week. But there has been a standard defined and set for our family unit, and they have a greater tendency to live it out because it has been set.
Thanksgiving is just around the corner. All of my kids will be home. It is a time filled with all kinds of demands and activities. It is also a time of great opportunity to remember and live out the family code. I have often told my children that since God gave them to me, and since He controls all things, only He can take them from me…and until then there is nothing they could ever do that would make me stop loving them…That they are mine till death, and I will always be watching, guiding, and dishing out motherly advice. Furthermore, they know that since we strive to live in the will of God, this is true of anyone they bring into their lives. I told you I take this very seriously. So this week more than most, I will be enforcing the family code…because I have been assigned the greatest of jobs…and I have more respect for Him, than desire to be their friend. And they expect me to live that out.
Thanksgiving could be a time for turkey and football. And, since we love the kitchen and my son is in the playoffs this year for a state title, it certainly will be. But, it will also include a wonderful time of family renewal and purposeful influence. Do you remember the goals you had when you brought them home from the hospital? Do you recall the times of heartache and decision that brought you to absolute commitment as parents? Most of all, do you remember the words, the whispered promises you made to the Lord as guardians of their spiritual priorities?
Thanksgiving is just a few days away…have you planned the day yet? What will you be serving up this year?
In obedience
Rhonda D Loucks