Thankful...But, Whose Plastic Silverware are These?

Uncutobedience

What can you expect? Straight talk, laughable humor, real truth, simple living, and passionate yearning...

all regarding the God that still involves Himself in the details of the lives of His people

A calling to write what He leads, no matter how uncomfortable...

Because simple daily Christian living is never what we thought it would be

Thankful, But…Whose Plastic Silverware are These?

This morning, a thought entered my mind as I was scurrying about getting ready for the day. Okay, actually it was a flood of thoughts. Things that I haven’t thought of in months, even years, started to fill my mind and make me forget what I was supposed to be focusing on in order to prepare for the day. Three times I looked at the plastic silverware in my hand and unzipped lunch boxes to figure out who I had missed. Three times, and that was enough. So, like all normal people, I reasoned aloud in a strong voice, “Okay, enough is enough, stop thinking and tell me who do these napkins and silverware in my hand belong to?” And my family at the breakfast table all turned with looks too strange to describe.

They could tell by my voice that I was urgent for a decision. They each dropped their own thoughts and focused on my question…wondering if they were the one that I was particularly addressing. I couldn’t help but grin at myself and to them as I explained that I was only talking to myself. My husband smiled back and replied that my mind must be getting hard of hearing, because my thinking out loud was definitely getting louder. He’s a funny one…six months the younger and always reminding me of my older age. So in return, I like to remind him that I am just an immediate vision of what he will soon be. You know, knowing what is coming is sometimes worse the actual becoming…old that is.

And still, the zipping continued…until finally, I discovered who I had left to eat their soup with no spoon that day. Then the thoughts returned; our escape from the fire, my son coming home from a wreck with just scratches, a near miss with a poisonous snake, a baby turning from blue to pink in our prayerful arms, test results at zero that were just 100% last week at the oncologist, and again…the miraculous escape from the fire. These were things I hadn’t thought about in some time…literally, years for some of them. And I heard my soul’s mind say…”Of course I am thankful, but…”

…But what? What does that “but” stand for? What am I missing Lord? Then off to school with the kids, and out the door to work went my husband…and I was alone. And in the very quiet of my time alone with the Lord, I searched for the answer. Why in the world would my soul’s mind have replied “but” to the Lord in a phrase of thanksgiving after He had reminded me of all the things I am truly thankful for. What is it that He might have asked of me that I have either abandoned or neglected this week and was making excuse for? What was it that He was trying to get me to pursue when I filled my calendar and days with so much activity? I know He is never angry about me being the attentive wife and mother and house keeper that I am…so what is it that I have prioritized over Him that needs some rescheduling? And a voice from so deep in my soul, that there was no way to question it, spoke. And it said…”Everything.”

And my heart sank, because I knew. Just like a child who is so busy with the game they are playing…so busy with the level of that game… so busy trying desperately to win…that sometimes they miss the bigger picture while some enemy monster sneaks up on them to destroy them…I had my attention on a hundred things that were being thrown and hurled at me…and not on the bigger picture of my Lord’s goals for me. Oh, I did not forsake Him…and...He is always there. But, I had inadvertently moved Him to the background so that I could focus on the things that seemed to be most important for that day’s…that week’s survival.

“How?” you ask. I have no idea. How do you keep the necessities of each day under control and in perspective? How do you allow such things as food and shelter and clothing and raising the children that God Himself gave you...to fill your day…and yet, not let them overwhelm you or draw your attention away from the One you really have chosen to prioritize? My only possible suggestion…it is awareness. Staying aware of your decision to follow Christ and the commitments you have made to Him…every minute…every day.

Actually, I have been chanting in my soul for a couple of weeks, asking God to work on my personality and change me into the more Christ-like follower that He wants me to be. I don’t even know what He needs me to be working on…so I have been asking over and over that He “Show me…so that He can change me.” I know something is wrong with me….I can sense it, I can see evidence of it. But, I cannot pin point it. And no, I don’t need you to write in and help me with this. So, I am asking the One who formed me with His hands and by His design to reveal to me the new problem area.

…And visions starting racing through my mind. I guess, I actually said, “Flooding” in the opening paragraph…Visions of the most wonderful things that I should be thankful for……and, I am. I can honestly say that I have thanked and repetitively praised the Lord for many of these things. Some, it has been quite a while…but some, come to my mind almost every day because of their huge intensity and great impact on my sheer existence. And yet, my immediate response was still “I am thankful….but.”

Again, I say, “But what?” And He answered me. Now I know you are all hoping for a particular word or two, so that you can see if it was the same thing that you knew about me…or maybe, you want to know because you are looking for answers for yourself in your own life. But there is no hard copy answer. He is a spiritual being and from His Spirit to mine, He only revealed the thought of “Faithful”. And I knew what it meant for me.

Faithful is not half of it all the time…or, all of it part of the time. Faithful is all…absolutely all of the time. Faithful is complete obedience to the big things and the little things. It does not offer excuses, explanations, or reasons. It does what it is asked to do and it does it with the attitude of gratefulness and thanksgiving.

So when my mind was focused on the plastic silverware, my soul heard the voice of God answering my request to be more Christ-like. While I was zipping and unzipping lunch boxes, the Great I Am pulled my mind aside and reminded me of not only why I should be thankful, but also what it is that He has been asking me to do, that I truly have not been faithful with. Now, that part is none of your business…so you will most likely never know. But, that of course, is the point of this whole thing. God asks each follower of His to be faithful to their own assignments from Him…never each other’s.

That’s why a personal and intimate relationship with the God we serve is better than a preacher, a teacher, a profit, a song, or even the Word of God. A personal relationship with Him is the only real way to learn to become what He has wanted for each of us all along. It is also why none of us has a right to judge the works and the workings of each other. Because He alone knows the requests that He has made of each of us, and He alone also knows the assignments He has commanded of our lives. Lord, I have been thankful…but not thankful enough to keep my focus on You.

LORD…I have been faithful…but not faithful enough to even define myself as a faithful follower.

LORD… Please erase the “But” of my “Thankful…but” statement by continuing to change me into the fully committed person you really want me to be.

And LORD…Help me to be always aware and ever focused on You…awaiting assignment, never limited by the overwhelming events of my days.

In obedience
Rhonda D. Loucks