The Calling - My Dot to Dot Obedience
What can you expect? Straight talk, laughable humor, real truth, simple living, and passionate yearning...
all regarding the God that still involves Himself in the details of the lives of His people
Today I recognize just what that something else was...it was God. But, back then it just felt more like pure adrenal conviction to prove her wrong. So, I took that little half sheet from her hand and with a half forced smile on my face, I told her that I would fill it out that night and get it back to her in the morning. Which, I did...completely filled out from blank to every blank with English classes. And, at the bottom in big letters I filled in the space which indicated my intended major...”English”. God had used my own insecurities...which I over-compensated for with some sort of stubbornness...against me…to lead me where He wanted me. You see, I had given Him control of my life. I had been praying for direction...so I should not have been surprised when this whole afternoon ended the way it did.
A calling to write what He leads, no matter how uncomfortable...
Because simple daily Christian living is never what we thought it would be
My Dot-to-Dot Obedience
Everyone is called. Once you become a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, He will most certainly call you. For some the call comes right away. In fact it is possible that you have been training for it your whole life. Looking back on the execution of such well drawn out plans… is some of our first inclination that God has had a purpose for our lives all along.
Let me give you an example. This is a whole lifetime of a story so I will just point out some of the dots...you know the dot-to-dot type experiences that seem to finish our lives by drawing the whole thing into some sort of beautiful picture. It is strange to think that my life has been a dot-to-dot experience. But it has. And God revealed each dot to me as I was ready to encounter the next part of the line. Although I could make out the image that was forming, He knew all along what all the dots and all the lines would connect to become. He was the designer and couldn't wait for me to move from one segment to the next...to complete the picture, realize the potential, and fulfill the purpose of the original design.
So it began...my life of dots. And I never would have believed then, what I know to be true today. I am a writer. But how I started…was as a silly looking red-head with big...really big…brown eyes and silver teeth that had a reading disability. The red hair and big brown eyes were, of course, DNA, the silver teeth was a childhood accident. But boy oh boy, did the totality of those unique characteristics really affect me. And, to boot, in elementary school they started calling my name at the classroom door and pulling me out of class for "special reading classes". Now I say all of that to make sure you are aware of two things. My self image slowed my willingness to accept my calling, and my inability with the written word was my weakest asset. I'm not trying to get a "oh poor Rhonda" out of you. I'm just trying to point out that God does not see things the way we do, and that your calling might just most certainly come from the most uncomfortable area of your life. I'm also trying to tell you that He will...absolutely will...prepare you for what He wants you to do.
Growing up I spent time learning skills that would allow me to accomplish what He would ask of me. Now it certainly took a whole lot of God to convince me that this was truly His will for me...but He never gave up on that either. Okay, you try to guess now. What one job would God assign a college student with a reading disability if He needed her to overcome her weaknesses? How about an English teacher? Thinking back on this, I have to laugh. Twelve years of public education, four years of college, and then more than fifteen years of teaching the very subjects I was most weak in… writing, reading, and speaking. Our God does have a plan. He gave me seven classes each day for some thirty semesters. And all the research, preparation, and grading…just for remedial review. Talk about repetition. And still, I am only an average writer. But average or not, God is able to use me now.
How the rest of the dots fit together is even more amazing. Probably, just like the amazing dots in your amazing life. First, God took that shy and embarrassed little girl and showed her the stage. Oh, I would not even consider getting on the stage, but I loved to watch the show and the presentation from off stage while I worked on costumes. This helped me to become comfortable around the type of people who are stage confident...really confident about themselves. Then, that costuming skill won me a scholarship...so I started thinking about college. Then…dot-to-dot…I went to college, but was scared to death of the people I meant at the college of my choice...convincing me to re-choose. And God spoke up and put a name and a desire in my heart for a Christian college.
Strange (in a God sort of way) how they gave me a drama scholarship but had no drama department. Six weeks into the school year they were still passing me around between home-economics and the art department. Neither of which knew what to do with me. But I loved my psychology class and spent way too many credits in that department (learning about self-esteem and environmental factors regarding personality) before being forced to choose a major. Yes...forced.
So, as a Junior in college, I went to my new faculty advisor with my general core completed…several hours in art and art history…and numerous extra psychology credits. She, my new advisor, was assigned to me because, that year, each faculty member who failed to have a certain number of students majoring from their department or field of study…was required to assist some of the students still labeled "undecided". She was not interested. But God was.
In our first meeting, she handed me a half-sheet enrollment page for my third year of college and said "this has to be completed by tomorrow". She proceeded to remind me that it was my third year of college and that it was time to make a choice. I honestly had no idea how to answer her…or myself…or God. But I remembered all my psychology training and I was not going to fall apart under pressure. Her advice came soft and clear. "Rhonda, from the classes you have taken, you can go in about any direction. The only advice I have for you is to not go into English".
Now it seemed strange to me that a faculty member from the English department (who didn't have enough students to fill her quota) would reject me as a possible departmental student. But even stranger (yes, I know it's not a proper word) were the feelings that began to develop inside of me. By the time that she had explained herself saying, "that she remembered me as a 101 student and that English obviously wasn't my strongest area", I was almost overwhelmed with anger and ...and...and something else.
Today I recognize just what that something else was...it was God. But, back then it just felt more like pure adrenal conviction to prove her wrong. So, I took that little half sheet from her hand and with a half forced smile on my face, I told her that I would fill it out that night and get it back to her in the morning. Which, I did...completely filled out from blank to every blank with English classes. And, at the bottom in big letters I filled in the space which indicated my intended major...”English”. God had used my own insecurities...which I over-compensated for with some sort of stubbornness...against me…to lead me where He wanted me. You see, I had given Him control of my life. I had been praying for direction...so I should not have been surprised when this whole afternoon ended the way it did.
Upon turning in the half sheet, my advisor looked up at me over the rim of her reading glasses to ask a question. "What do you intend to do with an English degree?" And the next dot appeared on the page of my life. Slightly taken down...but only slightly...I had to ask what the options were. As she read off the list, she ended by saying the word "teaching" and then she recommended that I not consider that...so I did. I chose teaching English that day as my major and my career. But God had chosen it for me long before that. You see He knew what He was going to ask me to do. When the time was right and my spiritual life had grown deep enough...He knew that I was going to sincerely ask Him what His will for my life was. And by that time I already had fifteen years of training in me.
So when my fifth child was born and it no longer seemed advantageous as a mother for me to continue teaching, I thought of all the reasons that staying at home would be wonderful. And, one of those reasons...way back in my heart was the whisperings I had heard for over a year. God had been talking to me about writing and speaking for Him. My desire to be obedient mostly concentrated on the concept that real people need to hear about a real God. This is not a new concept...just one that the Lord likes to keep current. Hundreds of people fill this calling. None the less, it was uniquely special for me. And honestly, looking back, I can see how all the dots were aligned and the lines were formed. And, I can also see all the times I went off path or had to circle around a couple of times to connect to the next dot. Back then, while I was living it, I could not see it...not even a little. That is why He calls it obedience. That is why we call it faith.
My dot-to-dot life story is probably similar, and yet, different from yours. I hope you realized your calling early. I hope you did not take fifteen years to surrender completely in obedience and train for the task. I hope you traveled a shorter path. But, it does not matter. What matters is that today I…and you…are completely obedient to what He has called us to do. I regret the time lost, but I am thankful for His consistency, creativity, and steadfastness. I don't think He is much concerned with how and why and how long it took me to get here...His joy is so complete in my arrival that even today it propels me to keep moving forward. Forward towards Him...forward towards His will.
Isn't that His real calling for all of us?
In obedience
Rhonda D Loucks