A calling to write what He leads, no matter how uncomfortable...
Because simple daily Christian living is never what we thought it would be
Beyond the Moment
I became angry with the director and decided that obviously she just did not understand that this request to be front and center stage was beyond what my friend could do. So, on his behalf, I went to explain things to her. In her very gracious way, she listened to my plea. She didn’t interrupt or use a power card in her defense. She just sat there listening to me explain and re-explain to her all the reasons that this was an unfair and unreasonable assignment. When I was through she said that she really admired my concern for my friend, but that she still believed it was in his best interest to move forward with the acting part. She said she believed in him and thought he would do a wonderful job.
Beyond the Moment
“Put some passion in it boy”, I heard the director saying. And, off stage, I knew that boy; my seventeen year old high school friend, just didn’t have it in him to act in the way the stage director was requesting. How can you be something that you are not? How can anyone expect you to act in a way that is completely unfamiliar to your personality? And…the real question…How can the God of all creation constantly call us out to behave differently than He, our designer, knows we are capable?
My friend was very passionate….just not about the play character that had been assigned him. He was the lead in part of a trilogy that was to be the spring play. I know that the part was assigned to him because in order to receive an award that he really wanted, he had to star in at least one major role during his four years in High School Drama. He had far surpassed all the other criteria for the award, and was the very best, the most dedicated candidate for the honor. It was just this one requirement that he had not filled…and this was his last opportunity before the end of the school year, when awards were given. This award was not only relished by all the other Thespians, it easily could lead to a very large college scholarship. I was quite aware that he needed that scholarship.
Our Drama teacher was half friend, half mother, and absolutely all teacher. She also had a passion; her passion was students. When you look back over all the teachers you had in your learning experience, she would be the kind that easily sticks out in your mind. She realized that education was far more than what went on in the classroom, and she lived it…with passion. So, since she also knew my friend very well, why was she pushing him so hard to be something that he just was not? She was embarrassing him and crushing his feelings.
I became angry with the director and decided that obviously she just did not understand that this request to be front and center stage was beyond what my friend could do. So, on his behalf, I went to explain things to her. In her very gracious way, she listened to my plea. She didn’t interrupt or use a power card in her defense. She just sat there listening to me explain and re-explain to her all the reasons that this was an unfair and unreasonable assignment. When I was through she said that she really admired my concern for my friend, but that she still believed it was in his best interest to move forward with the acting part. She said she believed in him and thought he would do a wonderful job.
Well he didn’t. He did not do a great job in practices or even in the dress rehearsal. He spent most of his time complaining and overly nervous and sickeningly upset. At one time he had to put his head between his knees because he thought he was going to vomit. Each time he pleaded, or I pleaded, or the new group of followers we now had on your side pleaded…she would simply say, “I still believe it is the right decision and I expect him to do his part…and do it with some passion.”
There it was again…”passion”. My friend did have passion. In fact he was sort of an extreme kind of guy. He could design a set and build it with passionate energy and execution. He could refurbish any prop and make it into exactly what the stage crew needed…positively passionately. And, he could design and sew a costume that perfectly represented the time period and personality of the character it was intended for with amazing passionate ease. His passion for these back-stage projects was absolutely astonishing. Directors from other schools and even colleges, wanted to know about the high school kid with all the talent and passion for stage craft. My friend had passion I tell you. Just mention anything about the set, the props, or the costumes, and you would see his eyes light up…the adrenaline start pulsing, and the passion start flowing all over the stage. In fact, you could hardly get him to do anything else. Excuse the time-period lingo…but he was a real “drama freak”.
Doesn’t everyone have their own strengths and weaknesses?
Didn’t God create all of us differently?
Isn’t it okay to follow your passion and do what you are best suited for?
Didn’t God Himself determine those gifts and issue those talents?
Then why the big ordeal about acting: pushing him to be the lead in the spring production?
Let the boy do what he feels comfortable with.
Let the kid do what is best for him…
“Awe”, as Shakespeare would say, “now there’s the rub!”
I was this kid’s closest friend. I knew him better than anyone else. But my perspective was very limited. I was concerned about one very uncomfortable moment in time. The director had a much wider perspective. She was considering the experience, his growth, his potential, the scholarship, and his contribution to life beyond the very small moment that I was focusing on. She was pushing him to try something that would help him expand his future. The uncertainty and discomfort he felt walking onto that stage was an experience she knew he needed to round out not only the award he really wanted to accomplish, but for post high school life. The director knew that this kid and his acting talents would not “bring down the house”, or even get really good reviews. She did know that if he did what she suggested and gave it a little boost of passion, he could manage to pull off a believable character. And that…just barely that…he did.
The day after the play had finished, my friend was awarded the honor he had so desired at a banquet for all Thespians in the area. This one single “lead part” had made it possible for him to qualify. The fact that he had done so much work, racking up so many hours and points in all other areas, allowed him to set new records…and with those records, State notoriety. The award indeed led to a scholarship. It was the scholarship that everyone in the field of Drama wanted. He was excited about the award, over joyed about the scholarship, and seemed to have more confidence in his future.
Actually, that kid was not my friend. That kid was me. When I began this piece I knew what God was asking me to write about, but though I tried, it was still difficult for me to see myself as that student. No one likes to look at themselves and see a limited possibility. No one likes to look back at themselves and see their weaknesses.
Maybe it is so difficult because none of us like to look back and see how stubborn we actually have been; unwilling to see from the perspective of the director, a teacher, or even God. No one likes to look back at that specific moment, when the God who created us…suggests that we try something new and different and possibly even very uncomfortable…and we stubbornly refuse. Or yet even worse, remembering that we had enough faith to sign up for the part, but then back- tracked the rest of the time…whining and explaining and offering excuses as to why we are not capable of the assignment.
God, how do you put up with us?
Why do you put up with us?
Help us Lord…help me…to look from Your perspective at my capabilities.
Please give me strength to look beyond what I believe about myself and see me the way you do.
Help me to be willing…passionately willing, and to use my talents well.
To not only be passionate about my gifts by protecting and nurturing them, but also to be passionate about signing up for the things You request of me…
even if they are uncomfortable and strange and frightening.
I know the answer.
I know the reason that You can put up with us.
It is because You love us.
We are your passion.
You see us for not only who we are now, but for what you always intended us to be…and not for this moment, but for all eternity.
In obedience
Rhonda D Loucks
What can you expect? Straight talk, laughable humor, real truth, simple living, and passionate yearning...
all regarding the God that still involves Himself in the details of the lives of His people